They say you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside...

I want to be married to this man. I do. I do. I do.

But, three months of search and Chris and I still have not secured a spot for our 'big day'. Three months! What the hell is going on?



Why is it so difficult for us to agree on a location? We both know no place will be perfect especially since we don't have the Hollywood budget needed to ensure it looks exactly the way we would like. But that is ok. We will be together. Our friends and family will be there. It should be lovely no matter where it is.

But, if that is really true...why does the location still haunt me to this day? Why can't I just pick any old place and be done with it?

Because deep down inside...I really do want somewhere fabulous. I want it so bad, it pains me so. I want a place that is comfortable and casual one minute and black tie the next. I want a nice destination spot for our friends. I want the places that we can't afford. Or I should say...I am unwilling to ask our friends to spend just to share our day. I want what I can't have, and it sucks. I am sure I can deal in the long run, but it doesn't lessen the suck part any.

I have searched and searched to no avail. Of course, there have been a couple of places we found that might work (Florida, Hawaii and Tahoe), but by the time we put the call into them they were either (1) already booked, or (2) wanted a premium for the honor of having our wedding there. I am sorry - but just because you can - doesn't mean you should triple your rates when you think you have a desperate bride on your hands. That is mean, and karma will come around to bite you in the ass one day.

So what about changing the date you say? Let me just say - no, no, no. We know we were silly to think we could pick the most popular day in 2007, take our time to plan and still have the pick of the lot, so I will deal with it. I might need to vent on occasion, but I will deal with it as the date is important for so many reasons I don't want to change it. I will keep searching until I am blue in the face as something in me believes the right spot is out there.

I just can't believe it is this hard. BLECH!

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